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Mon, Apr. 24th, 2006, 10:18 pm

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalked again, a rant by Lirlond.

bryoz is stalking Lirlond
bryoz’s REAL name : Caldwell Rhinehart
bryoz’s REAL DOB : 20th May 1977
Height :164 cm Weight : 94.1 kg
bryoz has dreamt about you : 19 times
bryoz became interested in you : 09th September 2002
bryoz’s latest dream about you
You are stranded with bryoz on a deserted island and your stalker is trying to coax you towards sex by hoarding all of the food and refusing to give you any until you give in to their wishes.
This is how bryoz describes your relationship behind your back
‘We were destined to be together and you’ll soon be tying the knot.’
bryoz’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
For the last year bryoz has been pilfering Lirlond’s mothers bras from her lingerie drawer.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
bryoz had their nipples pierced to show you the true depths of their neverending love for you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Be mine forever and I’ll promise to never fart whilst you are eating your dinner.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 26 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Look, could you send a squad car over? It’s just that there is this person outside my house rumaging through my garbage and they’ve been doing it every night for the past month. They seem to have some weird obsession over me. Please hurry. I think they’ve just found one of my bank statements as they’ve just ran off again."
bryoz’s Police File
bryoz has connections with the Church of Satan, The Communists and the IRA. It’s only a matter of time before they are responsible for a major terorrist attack on our country.

Testimonies about bryoz
therealeggman - A spouse-beating alco
‘bryoz was a depressing bore and I’m fucking glad they’ve been outted as a twat. Means I won’t have to deal with them ever again. Hip-hip-horray.’
anbu_leader_gin - A daring kleptomaniac
‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded Lirlond really is. I just wish he’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’
perseus_rose - A boring stoner
‘Neurotic, depressing and royally fucked up are only three of the possible phrases I could use to describe both bryoz and Lirlond. Chances are Lirlond’s just made all of this shit up again.’

Mon, Apr. 24th, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC)

wrong on oooooooh so many levels :S

Tue, Apr. 25th, 2006 03:48 am (UTC)

Well apprently I'm stalking Bryoz so does that mean I'm stalking you by proxy? o.O

Sat, Aug. 11th, 2007 11:48 am (UTC)

Care to add me on this, my new account?